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Wedding Planning and Your Relationship

Wedding Planning and Your Relationship
Making the opportunity for growth, not future problems
By Hannah Kiefer

older couple

Plan your wedding, live your life!

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Yes, getting married is about starting a new life together. But the wedding is much more than an event in which you officially become husband and wife. Planning a wedding together is one of your first and biggest relationship steps. It is an opportunity for your relationship to grow and flourish, but it will also challenge and test you as couple.

Before you even begin planning your big day, both you and your fiancé should sit down and have “the talk.”

The Talk

Sit down with your fiancé in a quiet, relaxed environment, and do the following:

  • Discuss Your Visions
    Beforehand, write down a general vision of your wedding. Each of you should do this separately. Scale and comment on the following (and don’t be afraid to be specific):
          – Size
          – Location
          – Budget (simple, extravagant, or in the middle)
    Then discuss!
    Why do this?
    This lays everything out on the table. Then you know each other’s wants and desires, and there are no hard feelings later because of a lack of communication (ie:  “I wanted a cheaper/more expensive wedding but I didn’t say anything because I felt bad!”).
  • Compromise Your Visions
    If you’re already on the same page, great! If you’re not, then meet half way. There probably will be some sorting out to do. For many, this can be challenging. (Aka:  see the Tips section.)
    Why do this?
    Well, you are getting married, aren’t you? Being married is about sharing a life together; it’s about making decisions together. This is step one.
  • Make the Idea of Team Work
    A wedding should be planned as a team—that’s what you’ll be after it’s all over, right? Decide who will be in charge of what. Plan when and how you will update each other. Also, create a way to keep yourselves in check—to always be on the same page.
    Why do this?
    It’s too stressful for one person to plan absolutely everything. Such pressure, guilt, and stress can create tension in the relationship. Marriage is a team effort, so the wedding should be, too.

Tips for planning with your fiancé

It’s all about attitude.

  • Be positive. Like runners say, PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). This is not a chance to sacrifice your “dreams” or “give up” on what you want—this is a chance to share, learn, and grow! 
  • Be flexible. Be willing to give something up, do something different, or share an idea. 
  • Be cautious. Things will go wrong. There will be conflicts of interests and possibly even arguments.
  • Be okay with the above. It’s natural and it’s expected. Don’t fret over it.
  • Be patient. Marriage requires a lot of it, so now is good practice!
  • Be a sharer of control, not a control-freak. No one likes being around the person who absolutely can’t stand things not going his or her way.
  • Be relaxed. The less stressed you are, the less stressed your fiancé will be.
  • Be grateful. Remember to enjoy every moment. Don’t take it for granted, even when you are frustrated or exhausted. Getting married only happens once! It’s one of the most special, memorable moments of your life.

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Simple Elegance Events and Wedding Designs serving Central Illinois. Want to use this article in your E-zine or website? You can as long as you include this complete statement: Event Planning entrepreneur Hannah Keifer with Simple Elegance Events and Wedding Designs publishes information you can use at

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